Michelle Suschinsky

There is an exquisite peace I find when I go to the 5pm vigil Mass on Saturday evenings. I’m sure there is a reason the Church fathers established the idea of going to Mass in the morning, but an evening service - especially in these long, lazy summer late-afternoons, is so peaceful…so completing.

I appreciate and love Mass on Christmas morning - what a wonderful JOYOUS welcoming feeling there is to the church doors thrown wide and the choir singing. Easter morning feels magical for the deeply spiritual and blessed day that Easter is. But at the end of the week, I enjoy the evening mass.

There is a parish, not far from my own here in Brooklyn, where the church offers an evening mass on Sunday evening. I’ve attended there a few times. The church is beautiful and the electric lights are turned very low, with many candles arrayed around the altar and sanctuary. It feels very sacred and I am swept into that feeling. The parish calls it the Jazz mass because there is a little group playing music, but it doesn’t have a jazz feeling at all. Jazz is the west side on Saturday night. This is simply quiet and sacred.

So here is my appreciation for evening mass. I feel a completeness to my week when I go on Saturday evening and a spiritual renewal when I attend on Sunday evening - but in both cases, there is a quietude and holiness I don’t “get” on Sunday morning. I hope God understands. I have a feeling he does.

I was thinking this afternoon about Death. Abraham call it croaking because they want to emphasize the fact that the transition is not the horror, the end, the cease-to-be we humans have built it up to be.

I was thinking this afternoon about how it has been my stated intention for a number of years now that I am going to live to be 100 years old. The number one reason is because I am fascinated with progress. I want to see what the world is like 100 years after my birth. Will computers really take over the world (as suggested by the Matrix and The Terminator film franchises)? Will world peace come to pass? I’m intrigued & curious. My quest for advanced longevity really has nothing to do with fear of dying.

I was thinking this afternoon - actually, wondering this afternoon - if, because I am an Eternal Being and in fact, the higher part of my self is now & always Non-Physical - do I really have to stick around in this physical body just to see what’s happening in the year of 2061? I’m sure I can just peek in from where ever I am at that point in time & “see”. And “know”.

Then I started to get really happy & excited this afternoon as I started to think about the amazing transformations 100 years can bring to this planet. For instance:

First the Chinese gave us kites about 400 BC. Then, for a really long time, there were balloons and gliders. Now here’s the exciting bit: 1903, and the Wright Brothers have the first propelled flight, which takes place in North Carolina. And fast-forward to present day…we have people living in space now. Living in SPACE!. Not just flying through space or orbitting the Earth. Not just flying to the moon, or walking on the moon, or moving around outside a space capsule…they live there! Stunning!

How about communications? In the 1870’s, the first electric telephone is patented. There is some question if A.G. Bell was actually the first guy to come up with the technology, but he got to the patent office first, so he gets the credit.

Then in 1916 the first radios with tuners show up. So, it’s not just one station on one frequency we’re listening to. We have a choice! And all through those heady first 50 years of the 20th-century, we get moving pictures, and talkies, and tape recorders & then TV - holy cow! In 1944, Harvard’s Mark I computer is put into public service (and owned by the government!)…then zip, zip, zip forward, my friends….1969 ARPANET is started - the grandfather of the Internet as we know it today. And here I sit, this evening, listening to Internet radio from a “station” out in California. Stunning? Mind blowing! All of that in about 100 years.

Hell, yes, I want to be here! I think I’m completely justified in my quest for “100 years of Michelle” - not just to see all the cool and undoubtedly miraculous inventions that will be around (many by next week, I’m sure) - but to use them. And marvel at them. And to feel joy & appreciation, not only in the devices & inventions, but the beautiful minds which create them. And the Universal Laws which add fuel to the blaze of human creativity.

Which is what we intended when we came here.

My Higher Self…my Inner Being…

This morning, after doing some reading in the third Sara book by Abraham-Hicks, I was thinking about my higher, eternal, wiser self. And I kind of hit a wall, because I realized I couldn’t really guess what my Higher Self would be thinking about at 11 o’clock on a Friday morning. Taking a shower? Spending the afternoon with my 4-year old nephew? Hmm.

So, I’ve decided that I’m going to spend some time every day just trying to touch base with my Higher Self and see what I’M thinking.

What a gorgeous morning here in Brooklyn! We’ve been waiting & waiting for a lovely morning like this, and here is the payoff! A picture-perfect 4th of July!

This holiday when my nation celebrates her Independence is a wonderful reminder to me to celebrate, appreciate and cultivate my independence of thought. More and more as time goes by, I am aware of the media’s attempt to influence my thoughts - and therefore, my experience. This very morning, I heard a blurb on the news about what a great holiday July 4th is, and yet so dangerous! Maybe dangerous for those who are in alignment with it - with handling fire crackers, or swimming out really far at the beach, or eating lots & lots of hot dogs in a very short period of time, but for me, I think my walk in the Park will be just fine. Just fine and glorious.

I have no beef with the media or anyone trying to share some knowledge or information, but it is the constant spin and the language with which they convey their messages that cause me to change the channels.

My lessons lately have been about learning to keep my attention on what I want, on making a daily practice of deciding what kind of day I want (always a good one, so it’s a pretty easy lesson), and finding all sort of things to be appreciative of as I go through my day. Finally, a really important lesson for me is to see the good in as much as I can rather than what I may think of as dis-pleasing. It’s easy enough to start griping because I missed the bus, but what’s good about missing the bus? Or - even more challenging - what’s good when the bus is very late and I’ve been standing at the bus stop for a long time? Can I appreciate good weather, or the time to slow down and rest my body for a few extra minutes in the day? Maybe I get the opportunity to walk along a street I wouldn’t normally walk and therefore see something I might miss as I zip by on the bus. There are so many ways to see the good, it’s just a question of getting in the habit, and as Abraham says, the more we things we see which please us, the more things which please us will come our way.

So for this July 4th, I celebrate the bravery and the conviction of all the “founding fathers” and the people who built this country and the bravery of the men & women who still fight for my right to spend my days any way I choose. I also celebrate and cherish my own independence and freedom to create my own powerful experience and enjoy every minute of it.

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

What a wonderful day. And what a wonderful week, too!

But today, most of all today, the sun finally came out in Brooklyn! Yay! And that’s a positive aspect right there!

The clouds were wonderfully puffy and detailed, the sky was deliciously blue! What an amazing sight. A sight for sore eyes, and I’m not really one to complain about clouds or rain. Yay for the sunshine!

So Richie and I wound up going to Prospect Park. We brought a beach blanket and sat under some trees in the Nethermead, sharing a roast beef sandwich while watching the Super Soccer Stars finish up their program & hand out some awards. It was lovely. Truly a gift from God.

Thank You!

This evening, just after sunset, I looked out the window and saw there were a couple of fireflies in the grass across the street. I decided to take a walk for some Italian Ice and check out the fireflies. There was a beautiful breeze and the moon, waxing crescent in the sky. Really the perfect ending to such a lovely day.

By and large I’ve been feeling great lately and that’s really why I’m posting tonight. I haven’t been writing in my book the last few nights and I wanted to make an entry. Everyone’s got something to say…

I’ve been making an effort to make my morning “decision” as soon as I wake up: “I want to feel good. I’m going to feel good today,” and it’s been working. I don’t know specifically how many days it’s been since I decided to make this conscientious effort, but it’s been well over a week. I can see the results in my mood, at the very least.

Practicing these little procedures & processes for Deliberate Creation is so rewarding, simply because it’s so easy and really - all I have to do is do it a little. Imagine if I were completely, 100%, guaranteed focused and eating, sleeping, walking & talking Law of Attraction - I’d been living in Maui right now! Oh, what a nice thought…

I’m all for dreaming these days. Crazy, wonderful, wild stuff happens all over the world, all of the time. I’m ready!

Anyway - for now, I am complete. Goodnight!

It’s delightful, really, to think about just simply deciding that I’m going to be happy and feel good for the rest of my life. It’s an exciting idea.

And when contrast comes, as it must in this human experience, I can use it and appreciate it for showing me what I don’t want - and therefore, ultimately, what I DO want. I love it! And simply considering the power of it and the possibility of it makes me happy.

I love knowing that simply feeling good puts me in the best place of Allowing, and Allowing & feeling good are the fastest ways to gain access to all the things I’ve ever wanted in this life. And that could be anything from enjoying good health and a happy marriage to fun trips away on vacation (Hawaii? Italy? England, Ireland, Scotland & Wales? You betcha!). It simply all stems from feeling good and focusing on the things that I want. Who couldn’t have a good time doing that?

I’ve been going a little back to basics and started reading selections from The Law of Attraction - Teachings of Abraham, written by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It’s interesting to see the parts I highlighted a few years ago & compare what’s important to me now vs. back then. But the greatest fun I’m having is in writing excited margin-notes (and dating them, of course) - because, suddenly, so much of the teachings seem very clear & I’m making all sorts of connections & having loads of insights. Great!

So - here we are with my insight of the week. It starts this way: making the decision to feel good will help you see only what you want to see, and keep you focused only on what you want in your experience. I’m referring to the part of the book where Jerry says he spent many years away from watching TV or reading newspapers because he wanted to focus on the things he wanted, and Abraham responded by saying that when we are focusing on the things we want, we wouldn’t feel as though we were depriving ourselves of TV or news. We would be focused on what we are interested in.

Also, I’d been reading about Abraham’s thoughts on Allowing….focusing on what we want essentially allows others to be who & what they are, and focus on what they want.

What is it that you want? A fulfilling relationship? Better family relations? Do you want a nice house, a new car, a good job, a fantastic 5-star vacation? Break it down….serenity, safety, abundance and love? And at the bottom of all of that is the desire to feel good. So you want to feel good. So focus on feeling good. And in the morning when you’re starting your day, make the decision that you are going to feel good that day. Same as you decide whether you’re going to have waffles or oatmeal for breakfast, or nothing at all. Same as you decide what you’re going to wear or whether to cut your hair…it’s a DECISION. And it’s as big as deciding where you want to live or that it’s time to get married. It’s a decision we must make consciously EVERY DAY. Every day, at least for a while.

Because, after a time of making that decision every day…”I’m going to be happy today,” or “I’m going to feel good all day,” after a while, those choices will become habit and you won’t have to think about it anymore. It will be your natural state of being. Well Being. Just like that.

And as you feel good, and maybe..feeling appreciative of things as you go through your day…suddenly, you’ve got more things to feel good about..and who knows?!…it could be your perfect new car…or first-class tickets to Rome…and then there it is: you feel REALLY GOOD! Whaaaahoooo! Life becomes whaaahoo. And you find you don’t have to filter out the things that you don’t want, whether in the newspaper or on TV or walking down the street, because as you walk through your day feeling good, you are seeing and experiencing the things you want to see & experience. And the Universe just brings you more & more. Whaaahoo!

I’m simply suggesting that starting right at the bottom line of feeling good every day is a very fast-track to the things that you want in your life experience. I used to think I had to reiterate over & over every day…I want a new car, I want a new car, I want a new car. But I think the Universe gets the message the first time I send out that “rocket of desire” & after that, perhaps I’m just lacking the new car, which is just lack and that’s what I get more of in the long run.

So starting with deciding to feel good is the best place to start and kind of work from, all day long. As I’m feeling good, I’m allowing the rest of the Universe to do what it does, and I’m also allowing the higher Universe to bring me all the things that I want.

There is a late thunderstorm brewing off in the distance. I love a good thunderstorm. Whether this one will qualify as “good”, or just be one of those quickies that blows through & over in 10 minutes remains to be seen. I’m hoping for a good, long, thunderstorm.

I’m feeling a little blah tonight & realize I’ve been feeling blah all week. Though I title this post “Saturday evening”, it’s actually well past midnight and therefore Sunday morning - May 17th. I’m guessing part of the reason I’ve been feeling blah all week is because May 16th was the anniversary of my father’s birth. I miss him very much. He’s been gone for nearly 20 years.

On Friday, Nina Ferrell posted a really wonderful essay on her blog regarding the perceived separation of death and those who are left behind. It was very touching & amazingly particular to my situation. She started the post by saying that (the reader) was meant to be reading it. I didn’t realize until the end - til after I’d left a long comment - that it was the day before my dad’s birthday.

I had a strange - but really beautiful - experience in the week or so after my dad passed away. I was working with a therapist at the time (who knew a lot about the Law of Attraction, though she never referred to it by that name), & we had a wonderful metaphysical nature to our sessions. It was, in fact, the reason I was attracted to her as a therapist. In the few days right after my father passed away, I still had a lot of unresolved issues regarding our relationship and the person I was becoming at the tender age of 28 years old. There’s so much junk that the human experience dumps in the way (especially if the humans involved are exceptionally unenlightened) and my father and I, though not ever “estranged”, were not close. In my family, once a person hits puberty, it seemed all communication ceased. I don’t think we were really unusual in that department.

So, there I was sitting on Sally’s couch, talking to her about feelings of unfinished business I was left with after my father passed away. And I don’t recall if she led me specifically into a hypnotic or meditative state, but I know I was sitting with my eyes closed and breathing….breathing….suddenly, I could feel my father there in the room with us. It was a strange sensation because it was my father and yet more than my father…because the feeling was only about his love for me. It was a very powerful feeling. I knew it was my dad, but there was none of the blame or hiding of emotions that went on with us while he was alive. I can’t describe the experience any better than that. He came to me because he sensed I needed to feel his love.

I don’t think I ever told anyone about this experience until I posted it as a comment to Nina’s blog the other day. It feels good to talk about it and finally figure out the part about feeling the love and none of the human experience stuff that gets in the way of a real relationship.

The gist of this post is that Nina’s post was about the fact that death does not, in fact, separate us from our loved ones. Abraham refers to the death experience as “croaking”, & Nina suggested it be called “promotion” - yet neither of those feel really satisfactory to me at this point in time. I am grateful that I had that experience with my dad, but there are many times I’m guessing those who have not passed back to Non-Physical feel some words haven’t been said, or experiences lost. Nina says one of her gifts is as a Re-connective medium & that’s a very blessed gift. And if, as of Friday afternoon, I still had unfinished business with my dad, then it was to realize the love never really goes away and the connection isn’t lost. I’m so glad, after 20 years, to have the chance to think of that experience with a little more insight to what occurred that day and to KNOW my father is still here. With me. Always.

No thunderstorm..and just barely a little rain. But the cleansing happened anyway.

A friend on Facebook asked a good question this morning: “What are 3 things you have appreciated about this week?” So here goes:

• Having a bit of time to myself here in our apartment
• I connected with a couple of old friends through Facebook
• I’m finding lots of like-minded people and groups on Facebook

Wow, who knew Facebook would be such a major factor this week? Thank you guys!

I’ve also been watching “What the Bleep Do We Know” (the Rabbit Hold edition) in bits and bites this week and taking notes as I go along. There’s lots of stuff I want to share here. And I’m always floored by the segment regarding the Messages from Water experiments, findings & writings by Dr. Masaru Emoto. Simply directing thoughts of love can change the structure of water molecules into the most beautiful shapes & OUR BODIES ARE 90% WATER. What shapes does the water which makes up our bodies take on after watching a few hours of CNN or gossiping with the neighbors over the backyard fence?

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! LOL!

Write it on a piece of paper and carry it in your pocket. Or write KINDNESS, or GENEROSITY, or PEACE.

LOVE.

I heard Oprah Winfrey say she always greets her reflection in the mirror with “How ya doin’ sweetie?” - how awesome! Rather than looking in the mirror and thinking about all the things we did wrong today, or in our lives, or ruminating constantly about traffic tickets and missed trains - look in the mirror and give yourself a break: LOVE. How about “You did your best today”?

Think “LOVE” for today.

How often do we, as adults, listen to our Inner Guidance? Some may call it “spider sense” or intuition, but really, it’s the voice of my Higher Self. It’s the voice which takes care of my physical body AND my emotional life, as well.

As adults, I think we slowly turn a deaf ear to the Guidance which is available to us always and for free. Whether we “learn” in school, or from our family & friends, that we should trust our physical sense over something we feel inside, I believe it is a learned response to our natural way of existence.

I won’t even limit the wisdom of this Inner Guidance to our physical body or preservation of life, because it is so much more. How many times have I felt something in my heart & ignored it because I thought I knew better somehow. KNEW, in my brain rather than FEELING in my heart.

As I’ve been studying about the Law of Attraction I’ve come to listen more faithfully to my Inner Guidance and to appreciate the help it offers. When I’m feeling bad, sad, angry, guilty or even just blah, I know I’m pointed away from the kind of life experience I truly desire. I trust my Inner Guidance to send me the signal, and I LOVE knowing I have the tools to line myself up with what I do want.

What got me thinking about Inner Guidance today is a recent conversation I had with my sister. She and her family had just come back from Myrtle Beach and she was telling me that her 3 1/2 year old son was being “weird” about wearing short sleeves - even at the beach! He wanted long sleeves no matter how hot or sunny it was (this was during the recent heat wave along the east coast - unusually warm even down south). We chalked it up to Tommy being willful and quirky…

Til just this morning..then I realized, as I was looking at some photos my sister took on vacation, that Tommy was probably the smartest in the family! Certainly the most Connected. Because in the last photo from vacation, there’s my sister with some very pink, obviously sunburned, arms. And Tommy had no sunburn at all!

Tommy’s still at the age where he’s Connected to his Inner Guidance, and fortunately for him, he’s also very stubborn about things he wants and doesn’t want. So there was no talking him into short sleeve T-shirts at the beach. Good for him! And that will teach me (this is what I appreciate MOST) to not think of the little guy as quirky, and to take a reminder that I should be listening to my own Guidance as well. Often!

I had wanted to call this post “My” Art of Allowing because it is the trickiest of all the Universal Laws. Allowing and Co-Creation - which go hand-in-hand when it comes to relationships - are where I get a little stuck.

Here on one side is Michelle - student of the Law of Attraction, so committed to letting everyone live their own lives and do their own thing. It’s all good & all is well. And many days I’m so right there, but there are other days when I can’t seem to get out the door without running into a million “shoulds”: my husband should pick up more around the apartment, my sister “should” keep a more positive outlook, my mother “should” get out more. And that’s just before I make it to the front door! And as I live in an apartment building, when I’m in a should-mood (oh, I like that: bad mood, good mood, should-mood!), I can find plenty of things the neighbors “should” do. Then my friends, then my clients, then the government….on & on.

And then I realize I’ve “should”ed myself into a very grumpy space & the world looks quite sour. I don’t like to even begin to imagine what I’ve been doing to my vibration (shudder).

What’s the best way to get myself out of this place? Let’s face it - we’re all human…or rather, we are all experiencing this life through the filter of a human experience. It’s natural to have moments or hours, or days of feeling less than stellar. How do we blast ourselves out of it?

Now, as I stated at the beginning of the post, I find for myself that allowing and co-creating are lumped pretty close together when it comes to relationships. I love my husband and I love my family very, very much — but oh boy there are those days. And then noticing all the things with family, loved ones, friends etc…it brings me to wonder what I’m vibrating that brings all these less than positive aspects to light.

Positive Aspects. Abraham advises us to look for positive aspects in everything around us — especially in those people or things we are feeling less-than-positive about. To look past the “reality” of the conditions we’re experiencing and envision, see, tell the story of what we DO want.

May 1st! Unbelievable!

A rainy Friday has always been my favorite inspiration for writing. There’s something thoughtful and quiet, and listening to the rain patter on the awning over the patio is kind of hypnotic.

So here I am - perfect weather for thinking about all the things I’ve been wanting to bring to these web pages. There’s so much to talk about, and frankly I have a hard time deciding where to begin. That would explain the 2 pages of the site which are dedicated to discussing the Universal Laws. It’s all just rambling anyway. I feel incomplete just stating the laws without expanding on what they say, but all I have to offer about it/them is really just my hashing it all through my own mental computer.(smiling) I’m parsing the information.

Okay! So some of the things I would like to bring to this site - to discuss here - are as follows (God, I love a list!)

* Meditation and visualization
* Observing surroundings, conditions, or events and choosing to feel better
* Gratitude and appreciation
* practicing becoming a deliberate creator - what does it entail?
* finding the feeling place of what we want - whether it be ABUNDANCE or JOY or a new Cadillac.
* pointing ourselves downstream and finding ways to stay that way more of the time.
* following & trusting our inner guidance, or intuition (are they the same or different?)

Is it coincidence that it’s raining even harder now? I don’t think so.

On to Meditation and Visualization. Oh and please note, the list will be revised and added-to as I go along.

I know I’m convincing myself of something when I say these words: I have a hard time meditating. However, I’m hoping I’m going to work this issue out in discussing it here, so play along…

When I was about 13 years old, my mom bought me a book about transcendental meditation. Aside from not being able to focus on my breath for 15 minutes, I had a hard time just reading the book itself. And ever since that time, I hit a wall when I try to meditate. I think though, that I meditate in different ways, the same as I think I pray in a different way than I was taught a kid. I love to walk and right until I was 30-odd years old, I’d walk in almost any weather, I didn’t matter to me if it was raining or snowing or cold, whatever. I like to walk and go off with my own thoughts. And, admittedly, sometimes I’m flat out fantasizing about something I would like to happen or (when I was younger) being with someone I was interested in. Other times while I’m walking I’m lost in the world around me - whether I’m walking in nature or strolling over the Brooklyn Bridge, I’m often simply appreciating where I am and what I’m looking at. (There’s that “appreciation” word) .

Jerry and Esther Hicks wrote in the first book, The Law of Attraction that they started to meditate for 15 minutes each day as a way to quiet the inner dialog and let their higher selves come through. They also advocate meditation for at least a little while every day as a way to cease resistance, turn easily downstream and allow all the things we wish for to come to us.

Here’s a quote from Money, and the Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks and the teachings of Abraham:

“We want you to get your hands in the clay of your life, and we want you to LIKE molding the clay. We don’t want it to be about getting to the result, we want it to be about the process of alignment. We want it to be about the Energy in your belly. We want it to be about the emotion that you can improve. We want it to be about you then recognizing the evidence that comes to you because you did improve the emotion.

…”that vibrational relationship is life - and there’s no wrong in any of it. It’s all the molding of the clay.”…

This is so powerful and if you sit with it for a minute and breathe, you can sort of feel it hit you & sink in. What I’m reading here is that we can believe we’re going to have an unpleasant experience - anything from missing the train to work or getting a bad diagnosis from the doctor - or we can believe we’re going to have a pleasant experience. If we believe all is well, then more than likely, all will really be well. Belief enables the alignment, which provides the evidence which comes because of improved emotion. This is part of allowing. Simply let go of judging a situation and intend to have joy. And what Abraham is talking about at the start of the quote - that it’s about the journey to alignment, and not about the getting of the evidence - that’s the JOY of our journey. Feeling every day that life is what we want it to be - an enjoyable experience.

I don’t know if this is appropriate to the subject of ALLOWING, but I’m putting this here for now…

Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

That’s from the movie Miracle on 34th Street. I’m a very big believer in miracles…

What a great way to start the day! Or finish it! What a wonderful way to get a lift in the mid-morning when the coffee’s worn off, or in the afternoon after lunch. What are the things you notice in the world around you that make you feel good? Help me find some and I’ll share mine with you…